10/1/11

Spending time alone, I am realizing how dramatically my circumstances have changed, and how grateful I am for those changes, but my past never escapes me. I feel like i'm in a dream- nothing really makes too much sense, there are evident problems I don't fully understand, and there are forces controlling my behavior that I cannot see. I've see the types of people I admire. Creative, real, courageous, daring, simple, perserverant, educated, engaged, concerned- which I assume means that is the type of person I want to become- but nothing is really propelling me to become that person. It really just doesn't make sense. It's all a blur, but shimmers of light keep me at it. Let go.