Fear

I fear about everything. A glance from a stranger. A loading screen onto my Wells Fargo account statement. A call from my parents. A new email from work. A text message from a friend asking a favor. A glance at my class syllabus assignment due date. An unclean room. Undressing to get into the shower. My ipod on shuffle in a public place. Sitting as the walmart blood pressure machine measures my condition. Dressing myself for the day. Waking up in the morning to my new duties and responsibilties. A room of beautiful people. A glance from a professor. Applying for a new college. A public urinal. Walking past crowds of people as i stoll into a building. A luxury car passing as i walk down the street. Driving next to a semi truck. Answering questions. Political identifications. Sexual orientations. New emails. Reading news stories. Underprivledged children. A coming storm. My fathers gaze. My mothers thoughts. The Disease and the cure. Unorganized music. Lowercased file names. Unclean hands. Yellow teeth. Body oder. Unbrushed teeth. Smelly feet. Aching head. Magazines. Facebook profiles. Scholarship applications. Thinning hair. Getting fatter. New acne. Red eyes. Body disfiguration. Dreams. Nightmares. Expectations. Unattentive reading. Not understanding. Approaching deadlines. Dissapointment. Anxiety. Fast driving. Deep oceans. Gravity. A new baby. Snakes. Spiders. Rats. Flies. Bees. Misquitos. Stepping on snails. Electric shock. A year gone by. A promise unkept. Spent money. Clogging ateries. Newly digested deep fried food. People not met. A white blank page. A google results page. My size out of stock. Credit reports. Beautiful girls. Beautiful boys. Dance parties and shifty eyes. Social norms. Marraige. Millions suffering. Overconsumption. Vanity. Altruism. Lies. Death. Life. Lack of fulfillment. Successful people. College transcripts. The thoughts of those i respect or desire. Burning feul. White socks. Uncovered secrets. Habits and addictions. Darkness and light. Tasks. To do lists. A new desire. Holiday expectations. Buying a gift. Ignoring goals. Not knowing direction. Not being in control. A butterfly stomach. Rashes. Untrimmed fingernails. Large feet. Layers of fat. Eating dead animals. Not knowing much. Picking a song to play in the car. Working out around others. Doing sit ups while others are watching. No motivation. Graduation. Beaurocracy. Making art. Owning things. Losing things. No access. Under the control of others. Sad faced babies. Controlling parents. Parents with no control. Poisening my body. The consequences of white pills. Emotional rollercoasters. Fading motivation. Low battery cell phones. Having nothing to say. Wanting to say so much more. Blindly supporting evil. Ignorance. Vanity. Materialism. Feeling tired when rested. No desire. Feeling stuck. Being acted upon. Perfection.

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