It's not fear right now. It's conflict. It's being a part of something that doesn't blend with what I am. It's the things that are represented that I do not wish to devote my energies to. That is the hardest part. Putting my strentgth in something that only steals my strength in no regard for me, but for themselves. I need to focus on me. Shape a life that focuses on what works for me, which then can be dedicated to others. As for now, it seems as if survival is the only option.
But it's hard. It really is. I get so upset over intetions. About the means or the process. The result in the end of it all isn't that hard and it makes sense why they are seeking such outcomes. But to me it is not what- but how. A world of intention. Is it truly only fantasy?
Get rid of ideas for now Matthew. Clear your head. Trust in what you know. Act. Be. You will be amazing, but you must begin now. Slowly, piece by piece. Let the voice of your soul actually be heard by your concious. Don't cast it out as childish, underdeveloped and immature. Trust it. It is only in the colision of the mind and body and spirit that harmony and purpose is obtained. Listen. Keep Listening.
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